The Balance

After a battle of the mind yesterday, I went home still with a heavy heart. As a woman, we are too emotional and as a wife we suppose to be humble. How do we balance of not losing our mind. A woman's heart is full of love and care, but there are times when we just really want to say what we need to say without being told that something is wrong with our thought process. Men and women are different and that will never change, but we are the same in Christ. I am working on a lesson God has me speaking on next month and it is funny when you are working on something you are going through it. WOOOOOOOO It feels like this heavy weight, but I know it is for the best because of the word that is in me to say next month. God knows my heart and knows that I want to be a good wife and child of God and it is not easy. We have to do things out of love and in peace, but again where is the balance when you feel out of place and left out? Or as my mommy use to say "that 3rd wheel!" Having a title of wife and child of God is not easy because it comes with work and time, but it comes with everyone wanting something from you and needing something out of you. Sometimes you just don't have it in you to give and you are not even filled yet. As a woman I always want a man to feel what we feel and to understand that the love God has place in us is for us to share and to show the world that we have, but it is far from understood.

What do you desire from God? We are missing something from somewhere and we go looking for it in the wrong place and even at the wrong time. It comes a point where we have to say this is what I want and this is how I need to get it!!!! THROUGH GOD! You won't find it in your mate, friend, and etc. Yes God has place people in our life that are there to love on us and share the world with us but we have to becareful of those that are not for us. We are a working process and the balancing game is not fun. Mommy, work, school, church, friends, wife, and then God. You notice I put Him last on the list, because that is what we do. God is last to get our attention and the last to hear I love you. We search for Him but in our own time and way. We lose site of what is important because we want our relationships to work....husband, kids, friends, co worker, etc. But how can  you have a true love when you really don't love God? We have to learn how to be a wife, mother, friend, and all those things that we have been called to do, but being a child of God is first and formost. There are days I feel my love doesn't get the attention it is needed. I don't hear I love you as much or even that hug that I so long for, but I cannot keep depending on my husband to do it. I have to go back to my first husband.....The Lord! I forgot about him somewhere between will you marry me and OMG I am rethinking this marriage thing and God where were you and if this is right!! LOL. This is real and to the point. I had to be honest with myself. I lost my balance when I got married, because everything else became important, but at the same time I felt like I did not. So I had to look at the scale and start over and make my first husband happy by balancing Him first. We do learn the hard way and Lord knows I am still learning how to balance. How about you!!!!